神阻挡骄傲的人，却赐恩给谦卑的人（雅四6）。不要以为骄傲只是有资本骄傲之人的特权。不管你觉得有没有骄傲的资本，人天生都是骄傲的。但一个人心中引以为傲的资本的多寡，却可以决定他骄傲的方式：人越有资本夸口，心里就越洋洋自得，也越容易得意忘形；而见到别人更有资本的时候，就难免心生妒意；当人一旦觉得自己里面一无是处，毫无资本，他就会有强烈的自卑感。骄傲与自卑之间的距离，出乎意外的短。让人骄傲的资本可谓五花八门，人人都羡慕的荣华富贵就不必说了，在特定的情况和特殊的人群中，连一无所有的贫穷，竟也能成为骄傲的资本。这并不奇怪，看看法利赛人，就可以明白。虽然他们鄙视世俗的荣华，却追求宗教上的修炼，以致于连禁食祷告这些在人看来的苦差事，对他们来讲都成了夸耀的资本，可以在人前做得津津有味。
正因为人心中的骄傲是如此根深蒂固，我们必须在学习谦卑的路上避免落入自表谦卑的陷阱（西二23）。当你有资本夸口的时候，闭口不夸好像并不太难做到，但如何能去掉心中不由自主所浮现出的得意呢？当面对别人更雄厚的资本时，如何能做到心无妒意呢？当发觉自己一无所有，你如何能跳出自卑的深渊呢？对人而言，这难过让骆驼穿过针眼，然后在人所不能的事，在神却能（路十八27）。
我们可以跳过那些以吃喝玩乐为骄傲资本的，当你重生得救以后，这些从前引以为傲的事，如今都成了可耻的。我们需要真正操练的，是如何面对那些真实可夸的资本，就如智慧、知识、家庭、健康、属灵的恩赐等等。在面对这些“资本”的有无和多寡上，我们当如何操练谦卑呢？这操练的起点，就是在圣灵的帮助下，真正明白我们身上一切的“资本”，乃至于我们的生命气息，都不是我们的，神是“租”给我们的，我们只是雇工而已，时候到了，我们各人要照所得的资本，“多给谁，就向谁多取；多托谁，就向谁多要。”（路十二48）牢记住这点，你就可以开始操练既不因自己多有资本而夸口，也不因别人多有资本而嫉妒。好多年前，我去参加同学聚餐，离开的时候，同学很羡慕地看我开一辆很新很贵的车，我本可以在他们羡慕的眼光中绝尘而去，但我却停下来向他们解释，这车只是别人借给我开的。我们哪怕暂时忘记了这点，骄傲就会在我们里面兴风作浪。
马太福音二十9、10、15
“约在酉初雇的人来了，各人得了一钱银子。及至那先雇的来了，他们以为必要多得；谁知也是各得一钱。…我的东西难道不可随我的意思用吗？因为我作好人，你就红了眼吗？”
God opposes the
proud, but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). Don’t assume you’re not boastful simply because of your lack
of boastful things. It is part of our fallen nature, and not just for those who
happen to have something to boast about. Yet the amount of trophies under our
belt does dictate the way we show our pride: The more trophies we have, the
more proud we feel about ourselves, and the harder to hide them; but when
someone else shows up with more trophies, we suffer the loss; and when we have
nothing to boast whatsoever, we fall into the pit of self-abasement. It is
simply one short step to fall from vainglory to self-pity. You’d be amazed by all kinds of trophies men can
boast about, from the popular list such as money and status, down to the
unexpected items such as poverty and hunger. I’m not making this up, if you know Pharisee,
you know what I’m
talking about. As religious elites, they certainly look down on money, but they’re so prized themselves in keeping the law,
and no wonder they always beg for an audience for their show of fasting.
Indeed pride is
rooted so deep in our hearts, many who thought they finally silenced him within
us were soon dismayed by his greeting with a new voice. When you have trophies
you can boast about, it is not too hard to discipline your mouth, but how to
discipline your heart? When it’s
someone else who won, how to stop feeling the loss? When you’re penniless, how to stop feeling worthless? It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, yet what is impossible with man is possible with God. (Luke 18:27)
Let’s skip the entry level which mistakes all the
carnal pleasure as something to boast about. After we’re born again in Christ, those things that we
valued in the past now became a real shame. Let’s take on those real trophies in life, such
as wisdom, knowledge, family, health, spiritual gifts, etc. How do we humbly
accept these gifts without feeling boastful, or jealous, or self-pity? The starting point, with the help of the Holy
Spirit, is the realization that all the good gifts are from above. They’re not ours, but are “rented” out to us. We’re simply the hired hands, and at the end of
the day, “everyone to whom
much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they
entrusted much, they will demand the more.” (Luke 12:48) Keep this firmly in your mind,
then you can start shaping your heart not to boast when you have plenty, or to
envy when you don’t.
Many years ago, I went to a reunion luncheon. Upon leaving, I drove a new and
expensive car pass my old classmates. They looked at the car I drove with
wide-open eyes. I could have kept going forward and left them admiring me in
the dust, but I stopped the car, and told them that I borrowed this car from
someone else. If we dare to forget this for a second, that old pride can wreak
havoc inside of us.
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